The art of saying no

It is so easy to say yes to every question nowadays. We say yes to any opportunity, to money and every task that your co-worker is begging you to do. But how often are we saying no? Have you already counted the amount of yes’s and the no’s? Here is why we are afraid to say no.

We are afraid

Let us rephrase the question a little bit: Why do we always say yes? There are various answers that we can give to this almost simple subject. Common response: We are afraid to let people down. For instance, you are coming home after a very stressful day at work. Your father -who is above sixty- ask you to help him with a task because he is extremely tired and also having a hard day at his job. Of course, you would not say no to your own father, let alone your mother. Even if it is your friend or a co-worker who ask you the same question, you would reply with a yes because you are afraid that the society would think that you are selfish and greedy.

No is the sign of selfcare

We often put the word no and selfishness in the same sentences. On the contrary, these two words have a different meaning. No is the sign of selfcare. You have to help yourself first before you can help others. If you do not have the time to do it and your health is not alright at the moment, say no. Yes, may be the three-letter word of positivity, it is asking for physical and emotional damage. According to Michael Ramsey, it can cause a strain to your family. We strain ourselves and transfer the pain to other people. Image if you are saying yes to lifting up extremely heavy boxes. You would end up with a hernia and that because you want to satisfy everybody. Therefore, the yes is a damaging word: others will struggle because of your pain. 

Doesn’t that give you enough space to breath?    

The goal of this article is not to make people say no three hundred and sixty-five days a year, but to adjust the yes-communication a bit so that your life can go easily. If someone ask you to do something keep these questions in mind:

  • Do have the time to do it?
  • Do I have the energy to do it?

With these questions, you are surely enough to give the right to the person who ask the question in front of you. If you are the only one, they are counting on, let them know that you have limited time and tell them if you have space in your agenda, your help is possible. Doesn’t that give you enough space to breath?    



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